Category archives: Uncategorized

This weekend a seemingly phenanthrene-fuelled [actually alcohol-fuelled, Ed.] Blitzkreig was waged on Alderney by the Rioteers – the infamous farrago of twaddlers, fenilletons, wall-mounted heliantheae, philosophically mesomorphic, socially congelifraction-inducing bunch that we are. [Right, you’ve met Richard’s word-inclusion challenge. In just one sentence, as I predicted you’d manage to do. Now would you please get …

Continue reading “Ode to Alderney. Or, a flawed history of a flawless tour, 21-23 June, 2019”

In cricket, few things are more important than timing. The caress of a cover drive is nothing without it, otherwise you’re watching Williams flay another over cow. Sometimes it works for you, as it did for most of Sunday….. Horrific weather is the only thing that will distract a Rioteer from a sunday fixture, but …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v. Crawley CC, 16 June 2019”

Today at Cadnam there was a lively discussion about the genre of cricket reporting literature. Should writers experiment with what has the potential to be a mutable format and celebrate the richness of the English language—owing to its rich etymology, for example, it has roughly twice the number of words in its vocabulary than does …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v Cadnam CC, 9 June, 2019”

In contrast to the bucolic locations typically visited by the Rioteers, this Sunday’s game took place beneath the apathetic, metropolitan glower of downtown Winchester’s skyscrapers, graffiti, ennui, and menace (just down the road from the nihilistic, metropolitan sneer, lassitude, menace, etc. of the home of the Rioteers’ match manager for this fixture – Ed.). We …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v Racqueteers CC, 19 May 2019”

Today’s match report comes to you courtesy of the Stafford Cricket Article Template (SCAT®). It is open-source and therefore available for use by any match managers that might be struggling with writer’s block, as I am at the moment. A copy of the template may be acquired here. After the previous week’s draw with St …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v Hambledon CC, 5 May 2019”

SCAT is an open-source (MIT licence) resource, available for use by any match managers that might be struggling with writer’s block. A [youthful|hopeful|superb|battle-hardened|burly|ugly|cheerful|forlorn|seemingly randomly cobbled-together] Rioteers team today enjoyed the hospitality of [host team’s name here] in beautiful surroundings and in [insert weather conditions here] weather. [Insert philosophical or other musings here – if you …

Continue reading “Stafford Cricket Article Template (SCAT®)”

The afternoon got off to a fair start with as many as 10 of the 11-man squad present for duty at the allotted time.  The 11th man having to rest after an over strenuous warm-up the evening before.  There was an important introduction to be made as the team was introduced to Sam Cook who …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v St Mary Bourne CC, 28 April 2019”

The third man The route from Sheffield to Lower Wield is not regularly travelled, however our number three batsman left at 7am, and after a hearty northern breakfast of roast whippet and two slices of gravy, arrived at the Yew Tree at midday in the aforementioned suburb of Alresford, and in singular glory ordered the …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v. Wield CC, 16 September, 2018”

The quintessential Rioteers match report traditionally carries an excess of metaphor, simile, allegory, and symbolism, exemplified below. ‘Brazier’s left arm carried the threat of a cold sponge pudding.’ ‘nestled within the idyllic surroundings, the pedigree Herefords stood warily at long leg as Williams approached the crease’ ‘We may define liberty, then, in Leonard Read’s felicitous …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v. Chute CC, 9 September, 2018”

The sunshine was turned up to full volume, as might’ve been Edward Elgar’s second symphony, as the Rioteers converged upon the pastoral, sun-dappled, English idyll of the Crawley Crows’ cricket ground. The quintessentially English music was replaced by The Ride of the Valkyries as those Rioteers arriving by bike rode over the horizon to join …

Continue reading “Rioteers CC v Crawley Crows CC, 5 August, 2018”