The cow will never get through that door Eddie…
Dum dee dum dee dum dee dee…
And now we leave the Archers and move across to join the team on longwave for Test Valley Match Special, sponsored by Win Viz, over to you Aggers, cue Booker T.
Thank you and welcome to the cauldron of Chute, high up in the Test Valley, where the visitors have just won the toss and decided to bat, with a strong batting line up, and an aggressive opening pair, we’ll just check Win Viz, but already they seem to be favourites. And now it’s over to Geoffrey.
Win Viz Chute 42% Rioteers 58%.
Aye, as my granny used to say, if you’re going to cook a rhubarb crumble, cook it low and slow, you need a strong foundation. These two openers Hill and Brazier, doing just that, and 10 overs in we’re 30 without loss, in spite of some excellent bowling. Perfect. And I’m handing over to Jonners.
Win Viz Chute 58% rioteers 42%
Hello again, delicious scenes at lower Chute, with a man in white picking blackberries on the boundary, and for those of you watching in colour, it’s the same!. Oh I say, three quick wickets and suddenly the Rioteers are 60-3 after 20. Excellent bowling by young chute side, and Rioteers are in trouble. But a cake has just arrived, chocolate my favourite, made by a Miss Gleeson of Pangbury hill. Over to CMJ.
Win Viz Chute 69% Rioteers 31%
Good afternoon, I’d say. Thank you Brian, ever the optimist. However the Rioteers look to be in trouble, but Besse seems to be on a rescue mission. Massive striking. I remember Botham in 81, very similar, and now Smith, two middle order strikers like this not seen since Proctor. And with Hillier striding to wicket some how up to 150 -7. , surely to accelerate. And over to Arlott.
Win Viz Chute 54% Rioteers 46%
I have seen London buses with more acceleration, and thank you for that exquisite contribution Hillier, I once ate duck in Peking with the imperial ambassador, this one was finished quicker. A delicious Merlot goes well with duck, but we are pressed to return to the combatants, and after a flurry of activity from the solicitoresque Norbury Nall and Williams, we are left with Brazier not out, carried his bat on 44, after 35 overs, and the Rioteers on 172. Geoffery, 44 off 35 overs… Aye a tad quick for my liking. Over to Tuffers.
Win Viz Chute 50% Rioteers 50%
Well I think the scores are abut even stevens here. This outfield is so slow it would make my fielding seem quick. So chasing 173 is not going to be easy. But I spy a delicious tea, and a tray of large doughnuts, very good effort, and after all that batting, I think I shall tuck in. I’m to be replaced by Jim.
This young lad Hill to open with the new ball, I’ve not seen a young man with an action like this since Lillee in 74, hair like his too. But now the shipping forecast, and then over to Blowers.
Win Viz Chute 38% Rioteers 62%
Well you come back from the salty future of shipping to find things have swung very much in the Rioteers favour, quick wickets from Hill, and Williams brought on to replace Besse, see the Chute faithful looking for hope in a new south African. Similarly, I’ve just completed a very youthful Pinotage, with my good friend Jerry Boam over lunch and I seem to be seeing the ball like this new bat. He’s taking a liking to Williams medium pace. The ball is now going a long way. Victor, perhaps you can make a difference?
Win Viz Chute 70% Rioteers 30%
Thank you for that. Well things are turning. The Rioters have opted for an in out field I first saw Brearley employ against the marauding West Indians. With Richards down one end and Clive Lloyd down the other, and its slowed the rate, but they need to remove Williams soon, he’s getting hammered. Hold On the Bearded Wonder wants to chip in.
Win Viz Chute 85% Rioteers 15%
Well I’ve been through the records, and consulted with club statistician, and that earlier 13 ball over from the Chute bowler, is the longest since Culmer 18 ball epic from 2018. Still some distance to the Stafford benchmark. However their bat is now approaching his hundred and we’ve less than 50 runs needed, with lots of overs and wickets left. But now the Welsh drawl of Lewis.
Win Viz Chute 90% Rioteers 10%
I was brough up in Swansea, good shipbuilding area, but ive not seen a hammering like this for many years. This lad is flying, but good to see a young welsh name coming on, Williams from the opposite end and Hillier in the pair. And we’ve had some wickets, Williams picking up a couple, not the right ones, and Hillier bagging one or two as well, suddenly they’re 7 down but only 20 runs left. I wonder if the Alderman can help.
Win Viz Chute 97% Rioteers 3%
Thank you Tony, well I’ve not seen striking this clean, since Doug Padgett in 1959 at Hove, and that’s a fabulous hundred from the Chute man. The Rioteers have spent most of the game trying to get the ball from the field, with a challenging fenceline. Hillier in particular is struggling to get his leg over. Brian? Hurrumph. Aggers do stop it. 10 runs to go, three wickets left 3 over to go. Perhaps its only fitting that we hand the predictable climax over to the mellifluous Swanton.
Win Viz Chute 99.9% Rioteers 0.1%
When I served in the Bedfordshire Yeomanry during the war, I can tell you we were in some tight spots, but I say, Hill has caught their main man with 6 runs needed. And young Williams has bowled their number 10! Suddenly with 11 balls to go, Chute need two to win. The field comes in, oh this is like the West Indies v Australia in 1960.
Big slog from number 11 off Williams, now one away from his debut five wicket haul, but the active Besse in the field prevents the win, and the scores are tied. One wicket needed to tie!
10 balls left, and Williams on four wickets flights another beauty, the young 13 ball hero from earlier dances down the track plays gloriously through the covers, misses, and is stumped by young Smith… it’s a tie!
Win Viz Has exploded.