It’s exam time for many, and we found the following mock paper based on events of the weekend.
MULTI-CHOICE – (5 marks per question)
1 Rank in ascending order;
A the range in temperature from 6° to 26°
B the difference in layers worn in successive Sundays’ cricket matches
C the difference between chances given by Hambledon batsmen last year, and those this year
D the number of Rioteers able to play the game
2 After a big night out at a Portsmouth nightclub, do you;
A Get picked up by your Mum at 4am
B Have a nosebleed on the pitch
C Crack your box, but still score a ton
D All of the above
3 What took place while Damian was waiting underneath his slip catch;
A tea
B completion of the Sagrada Familia
C peace talks in N Korea
D formation of a new island off Hawaii
4 Bowling a batsman and knocking his stumps over is;
A a sign of wickedly unplayable pace
B rare and noteworthy
C the new norm
D simples, when the ground is so hard that stumps sit proud out of the ground
5 Not having played for 11 months, being walloped for a huge six but coming back to get a C&B off a very correct no 4 who’d scored a ton the day before is;
A a sign of class
B a bit of a fluke, it slipped out wrong
C something to celebrate
D ‘the kind of band I am’
6 Bowling well to generally well set fields in which fielding was neat and keen, taking two early wickets but not getting much of a sniff after that means;
A game on, it’s a batting wicket
B we needed to be on our top batting game
C par for the course
D a bit of a tall order this early in the season
7 When tea is a bountiful range of sandwiches (chapeau to the fine ham and pickle on brown bread), moist cakes (including a Victoria sponge of rare lightness) and thick slices of firm but juicy ripe pineapple, stacking your plate into a huge tower and then going back for seconds is;
A a sensible refuelling strategy for the long innings ahead of you
B a highlight not just of the day, but of the nascent summer
C signature Rioteer behaviour
D the only time we filled our boots
8 If a ball is drifting in from outside off on a trajectory towards off-stump, should the assiduous opener;
A play an orthodox forward defensive
B move back and to leg to give room to cut
C watch it onto his stumps
D allege it drifted and spat back in viciously
9 You’ve had knee surgery, and anchored your team’s innings the previous week; do you;
A content yourself with scoring in boundaries
B turn down risky singles, especially when ball played direct to athletic and accomplished young club cricketers
C trust your partner’s call
D praise the fine fielding, ruefully
10 When given LBW, do you;
A walk off briskly, even if harbouring doubts about the decision
B hesitate a touch to indicate surprise and a soupçon of doubt, then walk off briskly
C ask for DRS
D stand your ground, hold your pose looking at pads in incredulity, wander round the crease, walk off very slowly, hitting pads with bat, then chunter on in Pavilion
ESSAYS; answer two of the following questions (25 marks each);
1 Meteorology and creative writing; discuss the correlation between time taken to write a match report and the weather at respective games.
2 (Outmoded) Psychology; ‘Flashman, Malfoy, the Boston Strangler and Oswald Mosely were simply misunderstood’ – discuss how dark characters serve only to intensify the light, while relating to outdated forms of motivational team building.
3 Sociology – observing the social hubbub that was Hambledon CC on Sunday, discuss how cricket is all about people and having fun.
4 Civics – Elucidate on how cricket at such a venue against such genial but accomplished hosts on warm sunny day is just ‘brilliant’, with reference to The Fast Show and the(second) jug of lager in your hand.
Results at next week’s game at Ropley, for which Cap’n Marty is MM.